:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
