I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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