I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
