dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
