My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
