"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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