Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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