but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
