I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
