Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
