You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
