My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
