its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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