I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
