thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
