if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Who wears a wallet chain?!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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