My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
