I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize