I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
