so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize