Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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