So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
