why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
