I'm eating all of the evidence.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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