had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
