So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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