I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
