i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
