so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
