Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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