I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
