Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize