craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
