careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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