Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
