I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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