How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
