WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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