Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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