What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
