You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
