Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
