drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Drake has all the answers
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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