when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
