Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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