"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
