the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize