Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
