ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
