Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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