Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
