Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize