Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
