We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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