Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
