Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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