just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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