This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
