So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
