Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
