OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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