had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
