lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
