Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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