I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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