**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
