i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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