im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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