We're like a lot better than the average bears
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
