Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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