High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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