her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
no you cant smoke seaweed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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