I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
