your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
