Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She's like a pop up book from hell.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
