Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
