I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
