Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
